Each week we will be sharing a tip from our school psychologist, Mrs. Rollins.

This week we are talking about – Encouraging Honesty

Lying is a problem with every child at some time in their life. Children start lying as early as age 3, which is when most children start to talk using multiple sentences. Here are a few tips that can help discourage lying in children.

1. Having a household rule for honesty – having this rule not only prevents lying but can protect your children from those that would take advantage of them by wanting to keep “secrets” from parents.
2. Talk often about honesty – trust between parent and child is key to build early. You can restart later, but it is harder to change established behavior.
3. Explain the difference between lying and compassion – children may tell people things that are true, but also hurtful such as comments about age, weight, etc. Honesty doesn’t mean always saying everything you think.
4. Model honest behavior-children watch their parents. If they see you lying, they will do it too. If they see you being honest and fixing problems, they will learn to do it too. Talking them through your process will help them have an internal thought process about what they should do.
5. Set reasonable and clear consequences for lying – punishment should be related to their lack of honesty and not an overreaction. If you restrict privileges, consider ways they can earn them back as they demonstrate honest, trustworthy behavior.
6. Avoid setting them up for a lie – if you know that your child did something and they are likely to lie about it to avoid punishment, then don’t give them the opportunity. Instead of asking, say something like, “It looks like there is a mess here. Let’s get it cleaned up.”
7. Praise/Reward them for telling the truth in difficult situations – changing habits can be hard. Consequences for bad behavior should still happen, but give your kids credit for owning up to mistakes by letting them earn your trust back from you.

Two helpful books for young children to help aid in learning about telling the truth are: I’m Telling the Truth, by Pat Thomas and A Children’s Book about Lying, by Joy Berry.

Both of these books can be found read aloud on Youtube for free.

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